late nights
The past few days have been an intense mix of strange and unique experiences. Sometimes I worry that I only have so many good things in my future and I’m squandering them, using them up in some sort of strange greed only to be disappointed when I have nothing left in the days ahead. Other times I realize how ridiculous that is and I remain astounded that so many wonderful things have happened to me up to now. Some things I dream about but I’ll never reach – mostly due to my own shortcomings. Most of the good things find me rather than the other way around. Usually it’s a random “Yes” that puts an entirely new spin on things. Often opportunity exists due only to blind luck and the generosity and caring of others.
Tonight I went out for a long skate downtown to clear my head. I’ve never worried about dying young but I am concerned with being hobbled in some awful way. It might seem antithetical but skateboarding feels like a way of steeling myself against infirmity.
In an effort to freshen up these old joints I practiced my pop over a skateboard sized traffic cone. I was amazed that after a bit of concentration and relaxation I was able to huck myself over cleanly and fairly consistently. I started with several inches of help from a curb but some mental focus and positivity neutralized the intimidation of facing it alone on the flat pavement. I have many limitations in the skateboard arena but it’s nice to reign in those old standards that I used to enjoy in my prime. That gangly pop is definitely among them even if it is only a silly split second flash of timing and sucking your knees up to your chin. If only the heelflip would come back and be my friend a bit more regularly.
Some things are all about timing and patience. There are those times when we just never quite make the most of our windows of opportunity. Still we try. Even now I can keep chipping away at those things I was good at back in the day and those things I’ve always wanted to do.
29 June 2005, 00:36 ::
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I know what you mean about death vs. incapacitated
Glad to hear you still have “it”
Wanna share you secret?
— j smiley 2005-07-04 22:30 #
Start up with a good stretch and manual runs, throw some ollies up and down some curbs, and land that badass backside 180flip.. Oh boy, it feels great. I hope that pedestrian girl saw what I just did too.
— motif 2005-07-06 23:25 #