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wheezing

I used to be a fricking athelete, not a jock mind you – at least I considered myself athletic. Am I going to inadvertently reduce myself to a stooped-over, frail-limbed button pusher? Well, I mean, a more severe angle of stooped-overness and even more spindly and useless limbs than at present. My 1 mile/9mph run once (every-so-often) a week run is not going to cut it. At least my typical 10 minute turntable workout doesn’t leave me winded. I must return to the land of skate before my shins lose their pain tolerance and my cochlea – sorry – semicircular canals refuse to keep me upright on my rollerboard. Maybe I can use this jackass product while I’ve got the cathode ray cannon trained at my mushy matter.

I just don’t think I’m a regular gym workout kind of guy. I feel like I’ve snuck into a place where I don’t belong and I’ve only got a few minutes to spaz out like a jackass. I play with all the cool stuff until I’m winded and then I have to get out because I really don’t belong there and probably shouldn’t come back too soon or I might get caught next time. (SEE ALSO: childhood church youth group lock-in at a YMCA and first racquetball court experience) My friend Josh and Dan are building a mini-ramp. Maybe I need to make a launch ramp, slider bar or a little fun box so I can play in my alley. I better be careful though or the kids that come home from school everyday through that alley might laugh at me or beat me up. My only other viable option is no good because I don’t think there are any round ballers in the neighborhood. Ugh. I completely forgot… my friend Daniel loves basketball and even OWNS one, so that’s a start. If only a table tennis table would show up next to the dumpster outside. The truth: This ass needs to get up off itself.

Yea, yea it shall be so.

4 December 2002, 22:36 ::

i always fall back on mr. ryan’s wicked ab workout from high school wrestling—- you remember greater-abs don’t you? as well as a couple rounds of push-ups to exhaustion .
every other day or five days a week is usually okay and leaves my back feeling much stronger and straighter… (puff out chest)
f*#k the burpees and forget the running… ride a bike or skate until your shinsplints cripple you.

— rmckaggis 2002-12-06 10:31 #
You should find those 13yr. olds from that one night and SKOOL them in bball and then pull their pants down. That’d keep you limber.

— sen 2002-12-08 18:00 #
a bit of advice: do not follow through with afore-mentioned plan if the 13 year olds are girls.

— Humbert Humbert 2002-12-10 13:02 #
The mini ramp is being installed on sat. Pictures will be comming soon to stuntboard of the process and the birthday party

— Josh 2002-12-13 16:21 #

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