The following was written by State Representative Mitchell Kaye from GA and then edited by Citizen Eric Gehner from IL.

"We, the cents-able people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, deluded, and other liberal Bed-wetters. We hold these truths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of No Rights."

ARTICLE I:
You have the right to be bombarded by the media which insists that a new car, big screen TV and other material objects are forms of of wealth. You have the right to be kept from the keys to material wealth which include knowledge education and power. More power to you if you can find a way to circumvent the system which says that to have power you must have wealth and utilize legal loop-holes to acquire it, but no one is guaranteeing anything except limited access to a national democratic political system which consists of little more than voting for the money machine that upsets you the least (if you choose to vote at all).

ARTICLE II:
You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone - not just you! Your access to this freedom may be limited. Your only means to express your disagreement would be to leave the room, change the channel (if you have a TV) , express a different opinion, etc.,but the world is run by idiots, and probably always will be. However if you have money or power you can deny access to the views of those who oppose you by utilizing legal means. The judicial system runs on money just like the rest of the world. Lawyers cost money and it is likely that if you have enough money you can silence the nay sayers or say what you want loud enough to drown out any opposition.

ARTICLE III:
You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful. Do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy. (As you well know manufacturers and corporations are under the strictest controls to make safe products and would never do anything to harm you.) And besides, even the good Lord knows that insurance companies are working tirelessly to provide us with a means of safekeeping our hard-earned money in the event of tragedy. Why should we try to interfere with their noble cause by trying to raise insurance rates for everyone (including ourselves) by making some kind of outrageous claim like, "Ouch I had a terrible accident at my minimum wage job while using a screw driver and I need to pay medical bills that cost thousands of dollars so that I can go back to work to keep my family just above the poverty level." Learn to be more careful.


ARTICLE IV:
You do not have the right to free food and housing. These things are luxuries as any dumb lazy poor person could attest. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, (if we have a spare dime or if we know you) but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes. Laziness has of course been proven to be genetic but why is it that poor people propogate like rabbits? If anyone deserves to be a couch potato it would have to be those people who have worked very hard to earn that big screen color tv and plush couch-and-loveseat pit group with coordinated end tables. Most people at or near the poverty level are obviously not working very hard. All those luxury condominium towers and townhouses that are being erected to house them are way too plush and only allow dumb lazy poor people to take advantage of Americans' gracious good will and charity. Don't even get me started on food stamps.

ARTICLE V:
You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, (what a fucking waste of good money) we're just not interested in public health care. It's not like it actually works in any other civilized country in the world. I mean what a dumb idea obviously invented by dumb lazy poor people. Imagine just anyone being able to injure themselves or get sick and then go to a hospital or health clinic and just waltz right in and be seen by a trained physician and treated. I really can't believe that anything related to the physical welfare of a human being could be be so easily divorced from money. I mean if you really look at it we end up paying for all those dumb lazy poor people because the taxes from their minimum wages are just a drop in the federal reserve bucket. Decent people would be left footing the majority of the bill not to mention adding to the already overwhelming taxes on corporations. Something has to be wrong with this scenario. Imagine all the billing agencies and insurance companies that provide us with their wonderful services that would immediately be found useless. I couldn't have that on my conscience.

ARTICLE VI:
You do not have the right to physically harm other people. (Unless you have been trained by an authorized government agency or live in a foreign country - because that's none of our damn business) If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you rot in jail or fry in the electric chair. But I think sometimes we have to put you on trial first or something.

ARTICLE VII:
You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure. But if you have enough lawyers you either won't get caught, will be able to avoid prosecution, or will be able to make a whole bunch of money coercing the hard earned wages of citizens into your coffers.

ARTICLE VIII:
You don't have the right to demand that our children risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. (yeah you, you dumb liberal) We hate oppressive governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from going to fight if you'd like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world (I mean we did our part in WWII and to this day do we get so much as a pat on the back? I think we learned our lesson.) and do not want to spend so much of our time battling each and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat. However if they should have their thumb on the life line to the internal combustion engine or threaten the livelihood of God fearing American corporate interests then by God we'll have to teach 'em a lesson or two. After all we've got those hungry mouths to feed in the military-industrial complex.

ARTICLE IX:
You don't have the right to a job. All of us sure want all of you to have one, and will gladly (Well not really gladly, but you can read Article IV to get our thoughts on that.) help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourselves useful. A high school education guarantees you millions of amazingly well paying jobs that are completely satisfying creatively and emotionally and sometimes (after three months or so) you have the opportunity to pay the company you work for some of your hard earned wage so that they may provide you with insurance for you (in case you're not so handy with screwdrivers) and your family. For those of you with aspirations beyond high school or the G.E.D., I think college is like completely free now isn't it? I'm sure there is some state school or community college where you will find a niche that will propel you into the open arms of corporate America.

ARTICLE X:
You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to pursue happiness - which, by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights. I mean there are just too many laws out there that try to make people happy. People are going to be unhappy and they are just going to have to get used to it. What we really need to do is just get people into the idea of pursuing happiness. I like to think of it as a hamster in one of those wheels or a donkey with a carrot dangling out in front of him. If we just can convince people that all they need to do is pursue happiness, like wealth, a new car, a big screen tv, then we don't have to worry about people actually engaging in happiness and there will be no need for all those idiotic laws that actually try to help people become happy. Those dumb lazy poor people who are couch potatoes are a primary example of the dangers of happiness. They've got everything they need and are happy and just look at them.

If you agree, we strongly urge you to forward this to as many people as you can. No, you don't have to, and nothing tragic will befall you should you not forward it. We just think it is about time common sense is allowed to flourish - call it the age of treason revisited.